Jo and Graeme

A few weeks ago I got a text from my friend Jo in the middle of a weekday asking if I could give her a call when I had a second because she had a question for me.  I've begun to realize in my relatively new doctor life that a text/call like that is typically professional in nature. After a few follow-up questions I also realized it wasn't about the happy obstetrical part of my job. This was not a text conversation but a cross-provincial lunch hour phone call.

My friend Graeme has lymphoma.  Over the next couple of days we would find out that it was mediastinal B-cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  

Jo, Graeme, Keith and I have lived our lives in parallel and been friends for about 15 years. Keith and Jo actually went to the same high school so have known each other even longer.  I won't speak for Keith and his relationships with Jo and Graeme but I can tell you there have been countless goofy times with Jo ("JOOOOOANNE" to the tune of Roxanne) and endless conversations with Graeme about board games.  He also often comments on how amazing Jo and Graeme were when he got sick at their house.  They took care of our 2 very young kids, as he was solo-parenting that trip, while he slept off his Gravol.

Jo and I "matured" together in our 20s like fine wines that only seem to get better with age ;).  We have had all sorts of ridiculous antics that were captured on film that I am in no way about to post here.  We got married to our respective nerds about a year apart and became moms within months of each other.  Jo is my favourite "mom friend" because although we've made different choices in our lives I have always felt loved and respected for my choices and I hope she feels the same.  We've never compared our kids and have just loved and commiserated over their quirks and cuteness.  She sent me flowers when Cian wasn't gaining weight as a baby and kept my spirits up.  She is the kind of friend that will rent an orange car and drive out to Chilliwack to save you from a weekend spent in the Fraser Valley when it would be much better spent with friends in Vancouver.  Over the years she has shared her family with me (especially her older brother) and despite the many provinces between us when we see each other it's like we spoke just the other day.  She's the kind of friend that always has your back. She's the Spice in our Sugar and Spice and always will be.

Looking at old photographs this morning my relationship with Graeme has certainly matured over time as well.  I had completely forgotten about the "Graeme" T-shirt which is the T-shirt I made for Valentine's Day or Graeme's birthday (I honestly can't remember) when I sang "My Heart Belongs to Graeme" and then continued to wear for several months to come.  We eventually went on a "date" that got off to a rocky start when he announced at the entrance of the restaurant that he had no intention of dating me.  By the end of the evening he wished he could retract his earlier statement but the damage was irrevocable.  He also had mentioned that General Conference (GC) Mennonite girls were the "easy" kind.  Thank goodness he got better at dating by the time he started with Joanne.  I have countless memories of swing dancing with him or dancing around to Mambo No. 5.  When I think of Graeme I think of big grins and bear hugs and of course...boardgames. He's as solid a guy as the big brass bells he used to ring in UAMC. 

You share your life with more than just your partner and we have had the privilege of sharing our lives with this wonderful family.

They are such wonderful people and need support.  Not only does Graeme have lymphoma but on the same day he was diagnosed the company he worked for went out of business.  They are not the type of people who would ask for help - they are usually the people doing the helping.  If it's possible for you to spare a bit of a donation or if you are interested in some jewellery and want to support two good causes (the Jahnsi and ethical eco-friendly products) I would urge you to check out the links below.  

Online Fundraiser for the Jahnsi

Donations to the Jahnsi Family

To Jo, Graeme, Arya and Gavin - we love all 4 of you very much.  You can do this and you have a huge cheerleading squad.  There is love pouring in from all over the country and from our little house in Winnipeg we'll have Mambo No. 5 on repeat, wine in the wine rack and boardgames on the counter awaiting our next visit with our dear friends.  We are holding the faith as we hold you in our hearts.

"Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean...but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face." 

-Unknown

  

Ovarian Cancer Walk

Last weekend our family walked in the 2016 Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope.  We did this in honour of my grandmother, Annie Braun, who died of high-grade serous ovarian cancer in 2013.  I have been wanting to do this for a while but the stars aligned this year to allow us to take part in this amazing day.
Our team was named "Annie's Roses" in honour of my grandmother and her amazing garden.  If you never had the pleasure of visiting their house on Fern Street it was an oasis in the middle of suburban Chilliwack.  Perfect hedges and roses in the front garden and a half acre plot of vegetables, fruit and flowers in the backyard.  I spent so much of my childhood sitting on my little bench having teatime with my grandparents there, in our own little secret garden.  That bench now sits in my living room, a reminder of the garden of love they planted deep in my heart (as my own children jump all over it hopefully planting seeds in their hearts as well).
Often if you came to visit that house on Fern Street my grandmother would send you home with a perfect rose in full bloom from the front garden.  Her love language was always taking care of others usually with food or flowers.
With that knowledge I decided to name our team "Annie's Roses".  We had generous donations from friends and family for a very important cause as ovarian cancer is often diagnosed late and currently there is no screening test.  My grandmother also suffered greatly at the end and my hope would be that no one else would have to endure that.  Also professionally I have had a number of patients with ovarian cancer both in my paediatric and adult practice and more research would be so helpful in diagnosing and treating this disease. So in memory of her and in honour of the women that would battle ovarian cancer after her we decided to walk.
I pre-registered our team the day before and wrote our team name on our family T-shirts.  I bought yellow roses with pink edges that I always associate with my grandma.  There was only one bundle at the store and those were ours.  They bloomed perfectly for the next day.
We arrived at Rainbow Stage and our friends and colleagues were already there.  Two nurses from Women's Hospital have been organizing this even since they lost their mom to ovarian cancer in 2000 and they do an amazing job.  There was face-painting and snacks and temporary tattoos and balloons and the kids were in heaven.  We had brought the wagon and decorated it with the vase of roses and pictures of my grandma in her garden.
It was a beautiful day to walk and we walked through beautiful gardens on a warm September day.  Keith pulled the wagon wearing a white feather boa (I have a beautiful picture of my grandma wearing one on her 80th birthday) like the good sport that he is.
When we arrived back after the walk I decided the roses were in such perfect bloom that I would give them away for others to enjoy just as she would have done.
When I walked back into Rainbow Stage I saw a woman walking towards me with a beautiful bald head.  She was clearly recently in treatment.  I had noticed her throughout the day but as she walked closer I recognized who she was and smiled.  She walked up to me and said "I have been trying to place you as I kept telling myself "I know this girl!"".  I smiled and said "I am your doctor." (it's hard to recognize your doctor out of context in sportswear and a yellow flower in her hair).  She gasped, grabbed me, hugged me and started weeping.  She held me there for a long time crying with me trying not to cry.  She held me so long in fact that Cian thought she was a good friend and the kind heart that he is he gave her a big hug from behind.  As she leaned back her face red from crying she said "You saved my life."  My heart was full to overflowing.  I may not have been able to save my grandma but this amazing woman had a family that loved her too and she was going to make it. I gave her one of grandma's roses and she asked her husband to take our picture together.  On my hard days as a doctor that will be one of the moments I come back to.
I handed out the rest of the roses to volunteers at the walk, a lot of whom I work with at Women's hospital, and survivors who were conveniently wearing teal T-shirts to help identify them.  Everyone's faces lit up when they unexpectedly got a flower from a total stranger honouring them and honouring my grandma as our family's story touches a little closer to home for families affected by ovarian cancer.
It was a beautiful day inside our hearts and out in the beautiful autumn air.  I would have loved to have shared it with my grandma.  She would have laughed at the crazy antics of the kids and probably found herself most comfortable behind the food counters with my nursing friends.  How I wished I lived closer to my mom and my aunt who I'm sure would have loved being on our team to share the day with us.  I am so lucky to live in a family that was tended to so lovingly by my grandparents - all the beautiful things that we do spring from the love you taught us.