Just before Christmas last year we met the newest member of our family. We (mostly me and then surprisingly Keith agreed) have been thinking about a service dog for Cian for quite some time. Cian's first word was dog and as a baby all walks were "dog safaris". When we finally got a diagnosis for Cian and realized his cerebral palsy would have lifelong challenges we, of course, wanted to support him the best way we could. Our son doesn't have obvious physical assistance needs - he is able to walk and run and paddle (he has an excellent low brace!) but he does have some physical needs once you get to know him. Balance is challenging - he hasn't mastered a bike without training wheels and he has been known to fall off a chair when sitting completely still. The biggest physical issue is his constant need for physical touch so after much research and soul-searching it seemed that Cian's love of dogs could serve a real medical need for him. We contacted MSAR and met George. George is a very interesting character. He has a military background and also trains dogs for military and police purposes so it's so neat to see him with this special place in his heart for kids with special needs. It was also heartwarming to see how much both Cian and George love dogs. Most of my daily interactions are within a medical capacity with either colleagues or patients and there are always. time constraints; not so with George. He always seems like he has all the time in the world to hang out and really get to know you, your background, your interests, how you got to where you are and how a dog could help your family. I really admired that about him and despite what I suspect are vastly different world views (the Army guy and the Menno feminist) it has always been nice to sit and have a chat without judgements.
After multiple meetings and the alleviation of our fears that neither Keith or I have EVER had a dog and know NOTHING about them we decided to take the plunge. Despite Cian's immense love of dogs he never pressured us for one - maybe that's just another one of his cool idiosyncrasies - his inherent knowledge that his parents would get there in their own time.
We talked a lot about dog names while Janet from MSAR was trying to find the perfect puppy. All of the options were nerdy and interestingly the short list were all superhero/comic characters that didn't talk very much. Cian often tends to gravitate to characters that don't talk which I always think is interesting since he would love to not talk if he could figure out a different way to communicate. His love of these characters remind me to not pressure him to talk when he doesn't need to. Han Solo doesn't ask Chewbacca to speak unless absolutely necessary and he loves him just the same.
When Cian and Emily thought to put Groot on the dog name list they were pretty decided on that as the name. They both love Guardians of the Galaxy and Cian LOVES Groot. What is not to love about a tall tree superhero that only says one thing, saves his "family" and is loved by all. That would certainly resonate in his heart. It was Groot from that moment on.
Cian was pretty specific that his heart was set on a "brown boy dog". Service dogs are typically labs, golden retrievers, poodles, labradoodles, and goldendoodles. I LOVE golden retrievers but Keith, ever the practical one, thought a golden doodle would be better since we have a small house and they shed a lot less and we don't love to clean. Very practical and ultimately the complete right decision.
Janet found what Cian was looking for. She said it was the first time she had seen a puppy so relaxed that he was lying on his back. She sent pictures of him and we completely fell in love with this mix of standard poodle and red golden retriever. This was Cian's match and we couldn't wait to meet him.
We met Groot on Christmas Eve. We had told Cian that Janet had found him a puppy and he didn't react with surprise - it was like he knew that this was how his life was supposed to unfold. Meeting Groot did however bring an unmatched happiness reaction. I was worried for a little puppy to be confronted with so much touching and love but Groot was made for Cian and even as a brand-new puppy he wasn't afraid of Cian's "aggressive friendliness". It was a perfect match and everyone could feel it.
Groot won't live with our family until at least 12-14 months after we met him for the first time. The person who has the hardest time with this fact is me. Cian is far more practical and realizes that Groot has to "go to school". He lives with Sam and Kaylee and Sam's service dog Molly. Molly is a gorgeous Golden Retriever and is the perfect role model for Groot. Sam and Kaylee are doing a wonderful job with Groot and send us regular updates and pictures via text and social media. He has a large social media following which is an unexpected joy of this journey. (You can follow him on Instagram @wannebeservicedogs) It's wonderful to have strangers encouraging and loving our dog. Our neighbours and family follow his journey too. One of my young patients follows MSAR on Facebook and said she saw our pictures with Groot and is following along too. It takes a village and our village is full of dog-lovers.
At the beginning of April we were allowed to have another visit with Groot. There are a lot of rules when it comes to service dogs and we are learning as we go. For example, we asked if we could get him a toy and they said we could and suggested that Cian sleep with it for a while so that it would smell like him and then Groot would get used to that for future bonding. When I told that to Cian he really took that to heart. We decided on getting him a Rocket the Raccoon toy (aka Groot's best friend in Guardians of the Galaxy) and Cian took it everywhere around the house and slept with it and also occassionally rubbed it on his sister as they are always together. On our way out the door to meet Groot he put it in his coat and exclaimed "I have a Rocket in my pocket!"
We met Groot at the Neighbourhood Cafe which is literally our Neighbourhood cafe that has bookshelves for walls. The cafe was awesome and all the patrons loved Groot (it's hard not to stare at a cute furry puppy on the floor that's climbing on an ecstatic little boy). Cian and Groot were inseperable from the moment they saw each other. Groot was practicing his compressive therapy and immediately laid down on top of Cian. They were relaxed with each other like they were old friends. Cian seemed to relax within himself too - he was way more engaged with Sam and Kaylee than I expected (as we had never met them in person before) asking questions and telling them about our neighbourhood when we went for our walk. If I had any doubts about the choice to move forward with getting a service dog (which I didn't) this afternoon together would have quenched them.
Some people have difficulty trying to figure out labels for people that are different. We like to put things into lists, preferably hierarchical ones. Even I am guilty of this despite all the things that being Cian's mom has taught me. I know that Cian isn't the typical person that people think of when they think of "service dog". Because he doesn't have the same physical disabilities people associate with service dogs I sometimes feel people think he isn't "bad enough" to need one. I have chosen to remind myself that the responses to Cian getting a service dog have been overwhelmingly positive from the MSAR staff, our friends, family and neighbours and anyone that knows Cian. It's my own thinking that has slowly become less reductive. Supporting the needs of my own kid needs to be my focus and his brain injury has manifested how it's manifested and Groot supports his needs. Groot, we truly feel blessed to have you in Cian's life and thank you for working so hard to be what Cian needs. Thanks to Sam, Kaylee and Groot for their tireless work - clearly it comes with great heart and we are humbled by the love and kindness put into helping our son.
