My cousin Kelly was 11 when Keith and I got married and there are 13 years between us so I remember being so excited when she was born. Kelly and her brother Adam were my "babies/dolls" just as I had been for their mother. Over the years I have watched her grow into this extraordinary, gentle and kind heart. We share a deep love of our grandparents as the oldest and youngest - the bookends of cousins.
Emily and I met Kyle at Grandpa's funeral. I hugged him immediately - he was the sunshine of that day for me. He was clearly such a good fit into that family - even with my British curmudgeon, Uncle Simon! He obviously loved my cousin and in the wake of the loss of Grandpa it was such a gift to meet someone that he so clearly would have enjoyed talking to over a long cup of weak instant coffee. He was kind to Emily who thought he was great fun and he dared her to get a pickle from the church catering ladies. She was brave even then and returned from the kitchen victorious with her pickle held in the hand high above her head - hence...Pickle Kyle.
When Kyle took Kelly to Rome for a romantic trip most of us knew that there was a good chance of a proposal. We were glad not to be disappointed. Our little family knew that (if we were invited) we definitely wanted to be there to celebrate two well-matched, caring, beautiful people.
Kelly and I texted every so often over the year as things got organized. They settled on a small and beautiful venue that fit the experience they wanted. I was happy to come and bring my zoo but didn't want to impact such a beautiful and intimate experience. They were very clear that they wanted our kids there and so we started preparing. Sunday dinners in our house were coursed meals with a lot of manners and appropriate utensil usage. My favourite was Emily eating a salad and Keith asked if she liked it and she said "No I don't like it, but I'll eat it cause I want to go to the wedding!". Then Kelly and Kyle thought it would be way nicer for them to have kid food and they got to look forward to fancy cheeseburgers. Kelly hoped for a bite and after weeks of thinking about it the consensus was "maybe".
I spent the week before the wedding at a physician leadership course in downtown Vancouver - making my personal trip serve double-duty as a work one. I got the lovely couple all to myself the weekend before the wedding and they were relaxed and happy and how could you wish more for family that you love?
Keith and the kids came into town on Thursday night. We had a great weekend at the Vancouver Aquarium with Jo, Arya and Gavin. We went to Science World with Mel and had sushi with the entire Vancouver crowd. We got to spend some time with my parents as we stayed at the same hotel. On Friday night we went to the Old Spaghetti Factory and had dinner with our little side of the family. Kelly is totally right that we've all gotten together for sad things over the last several years and it was so nice to get together for something happy. We are a classy bunch throwing bread to each other around the table and making sure everyone gets the "proper" ice cream. How great it was to see Emily playing with her spaghetti "Lady and the Tramp" style with Tante Betty. How is it that there are people in the world that you don't see very often but when you get to spend time with them, even a short time, they fill your heart right to the corners? That's my Aunty Betty for me.
Sunday evening was the big day. Keith and I realized that when faced with a highly anticipated event that our children head in two different directions: Cian rises and Emily melts. She is her mother's daughter and gets a bit overwhelmed and so there were many tears with tights and a dress that touched her, hair that wasn't exactly what she wanted, etc. etc. She cried and whined for about 30 minutes before we had to leave. In contrast, Cian got dressed, Keith put some gel in his hair, he checked himself out in the mirror and realized he looked pretty darn good. He also said that I looked "stylish and gorgeous" which was an overstatement at best as I was trying to unsuccessfully wrangle his sobbing, blotchy-faced sister into her dress. Children are never boring.
The ceremony was at 4pm and was approximately 12 people. We were to arrive about 30 minutes before and when we arrived on the second floor there was the beautiful bride who graciously and enthusiastically hugged my very excited kids. Her dress was beautiful but it was outshined by her spirit that lifted my kids for big hugs with no concern to her very white, very chic dress. She was radiant. We settled in with my parents for the ceremony as it was very close family and it was the perfect first wedding for my kids. They asked us to not take pictures and to be present since it was such a small space. In the hectic nature of getting ready for the wedding I hadn't thought about the fact that I would then experience the wedding. The officiant (who was excellent) asked us to stand as the bride entered and as I turned to face the door it all hit me. Thank goodness my mom had Kleenex. My mom was in front of me closer to the door flanked by my kids, my aunt behind me waiting in the first row and standing beside Keith I felt every feeling I hadn't let myself feel. There was most definitely a generation missing in that room and I felt it so acutely that it washed over me like a tidal wave as Christine Perri's song " A Thousand Years" played as Kelly walked in. Thank goodness Keith's shoulder covers most of my face even in heels. The ceremony was beautiful. It was authentic and personal to the two of them. It honoured their relationship, their love and their hopes for the future. It's exactly what I want my kids to see as love that is honest, real and true.
There were pictures afterword and then the dinner was at 530. There were 47 people coming for the dinner and although that sounds small it didn't feel small. I suspect that's because there were a lot of big hearts in the room. My kids were treated so warmly by Kyle's family and Kelly and Kyle had put so much thought into their experience. There were disposable cameras on their place settings and "I Spy" lists of things they were supposed to take pictures of. They thought this was the most amazing idea ever invented. They took their "jobs" very seriously and everyone was an incredibly good sport. So often kids are excluded in favour of the wedding experience but despite this being a very adult and posh affair there was such grace and kindness extended to Cian and Emily.
Their hamburgers were brought out with our salads and Kelly and Kyle came over for their bites while the kids howled and protested. It was great fun. After dinner Kelly and Kyle came over again with treat bags full of Guardians of the Galaxy fun. Basically they are ruined for all future weddings now.
The speeches were thoughtful about both the bride and groom. My dad did grace and mentioned the love modelled by my grandparents and spoke out loud what all of us were feeling. How much they were missed and how much they taught all of us. My aunt and uncle did a great job and Adam spoke too which was a surprise to me and was wonderful. Keith and I have spoken before that we hope that our kids have a relationship like Kelly and Adam (#siblinggoals).
We took our zoo home around 9:30pm and walked back to the hotel. They packed up all their treats (and showed Kelly our present too) and gave their millionth hugs to everyone. "Always together for the important moments" is something I hope to hold as a core value in my heart. This was an important moment and I was glad we were together, holding the ones not with us in our hearts as we held on to each other. Congratulations Kelly and Kyle - we were so honoured to be with you. Much love and blessings as you move forward in your life together.
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